Its the summer of 2016 and I am in Berlin. I had some very rough weeks, actually some very rough years behind me. To sum it up, I was unemployed again. I was 24, full of dreams and ambitions, but for the 4th time the Football Club I played in went “broke” and left me empty handed.
I restarted my usual training routine. I woke up in the morning, went for a run, followed by a gym session. In the afternoon I went on the football field to do some technical stuff with the ball and finished with interval runs. I have done this every single day for the whole May and June 2016. I was home in Berlin but I didn’t even went out once for a drink or dinner with my friends and family. I was waiting and preparing for a chance in a team that was interested in me. To be honest, my carrier CV didn’t looked very great at that time and I didn’t even have an Agent, so I was willing to take and use any offer which came to me. By the end of July I had not 1 single offer or even phone call from Agents. But I kept training hard and trying to deal with this current situation.
You cant change your situation, the only thing you can change is how you chose to deal with it.
In the middle of July 2016 I received a call from an Agent from Belgium. He told me that there is interest from a 3rd League team called Beerschot. At first I didn’t even considered this offer, because Beerschot played in an amateur league at that time, which was far away from my desired goals and ambitions. But Beerschot with the Coach Marc Brys were very interested in me and wanted to meet me in person to convince me about this Club. They even booked me a plane ticket and hotel room for the next day, without me agreeing yet. I thought that I had nothing to loose and could anyway use a couple days off from my individual training. I could meet them and just listen to what they had to offer. Furthermore I thought that it would be nice to visit Antwerpen because I heard good things about this city. But deep down, I was sure that I will not sign for a 3rd League team who was just promoted from the 4th League. Since I was 18 I played in highest League teams and wanted to keep it that way.
You have to consider to enter an open door, before you close it – Keep your options open.
Anyway, I flew to Antwerpen. The meeting was at the Olympic Stadium Antwerpen, which was the home of Beerschot. The moment I entered the stadium I was speechless. I couldn’t believe that a 3rd League team was playing in such a nice stadium. Furthermore I was told that the stadium is nearly full at every home game. For the 1st time in my life I met Marc Brys. He seemed very confident and intelligent. I had a very good impression of him. The interesting thing was that we didn’t even spoke about football. The very 1st question he asked me was: “What are you reading, and what is it about”? (Because I had a book in my hands) Marc Brys asked me questions connected to life which were deep. I remember thinking:”This Guy has probably a Doctors degree in Philosophy or something.”
Furthermore he told me all about the Club Beerschot. It was a big project; they had big ambitions and wanted to promote to the Highest League as fast as possible. He assured me that I would be one of the Key-players and that Beerschot will have the strongest team in this League. He planned me as a right central defender in a duo with Arjan Swinkels. The more Marc Brys was talking, the more I started to believe in this project. Somehow he made all my doubts turn into enthusiasm and excitement. By the end of the meeting I was holing a Pen in my hands, signing a 2 years contract with Beerschot.
My entire life can be described in 1 sentence: „It didn’t go as planned, and that’s OK.“
The pre-season started and I was full of energy and hopes. The team was strong and I was sure that we will promote this season. I was 24 an have never been a regular starting 11 player at 1st team level yet. I was 100% sure that I will be starting every game at Beerschot and can finally do what I loved the most: To play Football, week in and week out. Furthermore I knew that many teams and scouts were following Belgium football and if I would perform good, some bigger teams would show interest in me. Unfortunately I got a small injury during pre-season and was out for 2-3 weeks. During this time I got replaced by Jan van den Bergh. He was doing very well, but I didn’t fear for my place. I was sure that the Coach planned with me as his basic right Central Defender. The first games of the competition started. I was already fully fit but wasn’t selected to the 18 man squad yet. It was a bit strange for me, but I believed that it was connected to my previous injury.
Weeks and weeks passed, we kept winning and I still didn’t play and wasn’t even on the bench. I had some talks with Marc Brys about my situation and he explained that the current central defender duo ( Swinkels and Van den Bergh) is doing well, so he cant change them at the moment. At that time I agreed with him and just kept training hard. I was in this situation before, so I didn’t panic…I told to myself:” Stay calm Denis, keep working and be ready/prepared for when you finally will get your chance. And then Marc Brys will never take you out again.”
My situation wasn’t how I planned and expected it to be. I didn’t had a Club car in my contract, so Beerschot gave me a bicycle. Furthermore Beerschot found me an “apartment”. It was a 11 square meter Student-Room in Wilrijk. I didn’t liked it at all (actually I hated it), but I had to take it because the Hotel costs were getting to high for Beerschot. So basically it was either staying in the Hotel (paying it myself) or moving to this “shit” apartment. There was no TV, no Sofa, no real kitchen, no Table, … only enough space for a single bed mattress and a wardrobe. I was not happy with this situation, but I still tried to stay positive. One of the positive things was that I made friendships with many of my team-mates like Mohamed Messoudi, Hernan Losada, Alexander Maes and many more, who were always there and share funny and cool moment with.
You should also appreciate the goodness around you, and surround yourself with positive people.
Months passed and I still didn’t played for the 1st team yet. To my surprise, I even had to play for the 2nd team on every Monday night. I never complained once, but to be honest I felt very disrespected. The 1st team usually played on Saturday night, but I had to train individually every Saturday morning with Marc Noe ( a great and honorable Man and Coach, who turned into a good friend of mine) because I wasn’t even in the 18 man squad, plus Monday nights I had to play with the 2nd team. Our Coach Marc Brys resisted that every player had to come to every away game. Like I mentioned before, I didn’t had a car, so sometimes I even had to take a train to city’s like Dessel, Deinze, Seraing, and support the team which didn’t selected me to the games. To be honest I felt very embarrassed but I always had a smile on my face and found energy to look happy in front of my Team-mates… I thought always: “It is, how it is, but always show respect and honor to your team mates, Coaches and Supporters.”
Never let a bad situation bring out the worst in you. Be strong and choose to be positive.
I remember one away game: (I cant remember against which team) “I wasn’t selected to the squad again and had to train that morning individually. Obviously I was very unhappy about this and my mood was very down. At night I took a train to the away game, which took me about 2 hours or so. Beerschot won and everyone was smiling, celebrating and happy. Of course I was happy for my team and colleagues, but deep down I felt unbelievable bad. I took the train and literally cried the hole train ride back to Antwerpen. I walked to my “shit” apartment. I sat on my mattress and kept crying until I fell asleep”
I believe that was one of the lowest points of my life. I was 24 and have been through a lot of downs in my carrier. I played in 5 professional Clubs so far, of which 4 went bankrupt/insolvent. 3 of that Clubs still owe me money close to 100 000 Euro. But all that didn’t matter to me. All I wanted was to play football. I gave so much passion, love, sweat, hard work, tears …I trained and worked all my life, just to stay on the field and play football. The feeling when I am on the field and the game starts is just indescribable to me…When I am on the field I get unbelievable much energy, I get 1000 thoughts in my head, but somehow It gives me also calmness…I feel free…Nothing and nobody is above me…I feel like: “This is where I belong and have to be.”
This vision of football I followed in every of my Clubs, but for one reason or another it never worked out for me. And also in Beerschot, (a 3rd League team at that time) I couldn’t make my vision and dream become reality. I kept fighting with myself (mentally). I was fighting against: quitting on football; quitting on my dreams; quitting on myself; letting my parents down and everything they did for me so I could live my football dream; all the sacrifices I made for football; all the pain football caused for me; all the years I spend on football; … This battle within me, turned out to be one of the the hardest and roughest fights I ever faced.
The darkest hour has only 60 minutes… its over soon.
One day I woke up and opened an old photo-album of me and my family, which I always take with me. I saw many pictures of the child Denis. The 2 year old me, the 6 year old me,……. This Child had a dream, to become the best and reach the top. This Child wanted to be special and achieve great things in life. The years passed and he kept fighting. Many “stones” where in his way, but he kept fighting and moving this stones away. I believe, that his attitude combined with his hunger to succeed, his desire to move forward, his will to go through pain and his Love for the things he did; this made him “Unique”. I was not willing to let this Child down, so I kept fighting.
To become ‚unique,‘ the challenge is to fight the hardest battle which anyone can imagine until you reach your destination.
I started to work and train harder and harder. After every training I stayed longer and went to the gym to work on my physique. I was sure that Marc Brys will give me a chance soon. And I was right: Arjan Swinkels got an injury and was out for a couple of weeks. So finally I started to play. I was full of energy and desire. I was sure that I will not fail and do everything to keep my place in the team. I started 3 games in a row and we won all of them. We didn’t conceded any goal and I played really strong and solid. Finally I started to feel happier and satisfied in Belgium and Antwerpen.
It was a Thursday and we were preparing for the next game on Saturday, which would be my 4th game in a row for Beerschot. On this day Arjan Swinkels was back from injury and trained for the 1st time with the group again. I was happy for Arjan that he was fit again, but I was 100% sure that I will start the game and not him. The last games I played really well and the team was winning; plus it was 2 days before the next game. Marc Brys announced the starting 11 for the next match and to my surprise, he put Arjan in the team. I was fuming! I was so angry at the Coach and wanted to make it obvious. So I “stopped” training, wasn’t running any more and shot all balls away. Obviously Marc Brys realized my behavior and wanted to see me in his office straight after training. I came to his office, still raging. Of course Marc knew the reason for my anger, so he started to explain:”Denis, I understand your anger, you want to play. You were really impressive the last games and training’s, you fully deserve to play, but but but…” this was the last things I heard and just screamed: “STOP, SHUT YOUR MOUTH!” I was so angry that I couldn’t control myself, I was shaking and had even tears in my eyes. He and all the Coaching stuff were shocked. I continued shouting:”Stop with this bullshit explanations and just shut up.” And like Marc Brys is, he remained very calm and controlled and asked: ”Okay, and now?” I said:”If you don’t stop speaking I will punch you and your Coaching stuff in the face”. Only at that moment I realized that I crossed the line. I stood up, and said that I need 2 minutes to cool myself down outside. After 2 minutes I returned and excused myself to everyone. Marc and the Coaches seemed very understanding and we started a long and deep conversation. After about 1 hour I left the office and said:”Remember my words Coach, One day I will be your best player.”
I was not proud about my reaction but I believe that after this “conversation” with Marc our relationship changed and I believe that I got more respect from him and the coaching stuff.
Like expected, we promoted to the 2nd highest League of Belgium. I got another chance and used it again. This time I stayed in the team and was never taken out again. The next season of 2017/2018 I played basically every single game and everything was going amazing. It was the 1st time in my carrier that I was actually playing. I was 26 but I believe that my carrier only really started then. We played an amazing Season and even reached the Finals to promote to the Highest League of Belgium. (Unfortunately we lost and became 2nd place).
Personally I played a great season and proved to myself that everything I did was worth it. I even got interests and offers from other bigger teams but I decided to stay and signed a new 3 year contract with Beerschot. Furthermore I finally moved and found a nice apartment in the City center of Antwerpen. I gave my bicycle away and got a nice car from the club. I was feeling happy. And just before I left on my summer vacation (which I didn’t had for the past 5 years) I got a message from Marc Brys, saying: ”You kept your word Denis. You were my best player this season. Enjoy your vacation.”
From my experiences I learned that life and football is all about ups and downs. It is completely normal, so you have to deal with it. One day you are the Looser, the next day you are the Hero…that`s bullshit. You will always be a Hero if you keep fighting for your dream, for who you are or want to be. You are a Hero if you keep your focus and believe in yourself. So just celebrate who you are and let nothing bring you down. I know it`s difficult at times, but don’t compare yourself with others, it`s YOUR Dream, it`s YOUR Focus, you are Unique.
denisprychynenko 