Diary of a Champion

27.07.2020

It’s a Monday morning and I am in a very good mood. My 5^th season at Beerschot has started already and it’s the last week of the pre-season. Our previous season had been successful: we had won the 2^nd period and had reached the Promotion Final to the Highest League of Belgium football. The Promotion Final is always played in 2 games; one at home and one away. This season it was Beerschot vs OH Leuven. The 1^st leg, we had played at home on the 8^th of March 2020 and finished the game with a 1:0 win. Due to Corona the 2^nd leg (initially scheduled for the 14^th of March 2020) had to be postponed.

Today we got our last day off before the Final. If you read my blog-articles you will know that I am not a big fan of days off. I’m only satisfied when I’m working and I work hard because I love my work. Moreover, ”You have to take no days off to be remembered as a legend”. 

So my “day-off-training routine” usually still comprises some spiritual and physical exercises. After waking up I messaged Rapha Holzhauser and Yan Vorogovskiy and arranged a breakfast at Cafe Shilling, good start to get your energy for the day. After breakfast I decided to pass by the Antwerp Cathedral for 1-2 hours. Sometimes I just feel like meditating, reflecting or reading a book to (en)lighten myself and there is no better place to find that insight than in such a fantastic and breathtaking Cathedral like in Antwerpen. In addition, it’s always good to pay “God” a visit before such an important game. At around 4 pm, Rapha and me went to the outside gym at the Kaai for some upper-body training, followed by 10 sprints and jumps. Later we had dinner at Napos.

I was home by 9 pm; did some Yoga and stretching exercises; played some chess online; swiped on Tinder for 10 minutes (without any success); called my parents and was in bed by 11 pm. I don’t like taking days off and I guess I will never start liking it.  Everyday something has to be done (even if it’s something small) so that you will become better than you were yesterday.

“Success is Never Owned, It’s Rented, and the Rent is Due Every Day”

28.07.2020

The final preparations for the 2^nd final game have started today. In fact, we have been preparing for this game for more than 4 months (due to corona) and finally the day has been set so this final week felt like something really special. I woke up at 9 am, ate some honey (as every morning), brushed my teeth and drove to training. The moment I entered the dressing room I already felt a different atmosphere than the previous weeks. Some players were already there, doing their things. We had a weight control and as usual my weight was very close to the limit (must be the honey). At 11 am we had breakfast and at noon all players had to go to the meeting room for a video analysis of OH Leuven. Usually we only have a video analysis of our next opponent once per week, but this final week we had one every single day, the pressure was high and the motivation was even higher.

Pre-warming-up started at 1 pm in the gym and at 1:30 pm the real training started on the field. It was an easy session, which is normal after a day off. I realized that the team was very focused and we didn’t “joke around” as much. Furthermore the coaching stuff was very demanding and strict. It was the 1^st time since March that I got this special game feeling again; this feeling that something important will happen soon; something you have been waiting and working so hard for was within reach. I love this feeling!  “I don’t have any feeling of accomplishment about anything unless there’s a lot of risk to it “

Training ended around 3 pm and as usual I stayed behind in the gym together with Rapha to do some body workout. We were done around 4:30 pm and drove home. For the rest of the day I just went for dinner followed by a walk to clear my mind. 3-4 years ago, Tuesday night used to be a top night to go for some drinks at some fancy bar, but this has now turned into a walk at Park Den Brand or along the river. The older I get the more I start to enjoy and cherish the calm and peaceful things in life besides the productive ones: spending time with family and friends, working on your mind and body, setting daily goals, helping out others and finding inner happiness.

I remember how the younger Me was constantly looking for attention from other people and getting recognized by many. How I would dress up and go to fancy restaurants and try to conquer everything and everyone. To be honest, I realized that this is just ridiculous! It’s a fake world with fake people trying to act and behave like someone they are not, just for of some attention and ego satisfaction. I am still only 28 and I am surely not perfect, but time keeps showing me that there are much more important things in life… I refuse to live in a fake fairytale.

Time has a wonderful way of showing us what really matters

02.08.2020

Today is the day. The day everyone in my team and the club has been waiting for. I came to Beerschot in 2016 when we were still playing in an Amateur League. Since day One it was always Beerschot’s – our – goal to play 1^st Division one day. People came and left again, but I stayed until now and I am still here… I was there when we became Champion of the 3^rd League and had been promoted to the 2^nd. I was there when we played the 1^st Champion Games vs Cerlce Brugge. I was there when we played the 2^nd Champion Games vs Mechelen. And I want to be there when Beerschot finally becomes Champion … And will be promoted to the highest League in Belgium football. This day is going to be today!

“Blood + Sweat + Tears => Champions”

I woke up at 9 am to get ready. At around 10 am I met Rapha and Yan for some breakfast at a coffee place called Barchel. We ate, talked, played cards and eventually drove to the stadium. It felt like a normal morning. At 11:30 am all the players were on the team-bus and we left in direction of Leuven. Surprisingly the atmosphere in the bus was very calm. Some players were playing UNO, other ones were talking and I was just staring out of the window with my headphones on; listening to classical music (as usually before games).

nor

We arrived at some hotel in Leuven, had a small Lunch there and checked into our rooms. For away games we leave Antwerpen early and check into a hotel, so that we can eat lunch all together and have a rest/siesta for about 3-4 hours. I was in a room with Rapha Holzhauser and he was watching a documentary about Toni Kroos on his phone and didn’t want to put his headphones in, so it was too loud to sleep for me. So we ended up watching the documentary together. At 3 pm I started to stretch a bit and do some yoga. By 5 pm everybody was checked out and sitting in the bus again on the way to the Stadium of Leuven, on our way to become Heroes.

We arrived at the stadium and went to check out the field first. The field of Leuven is known to be perfect and it was indeed. Back in the dressing room every player started his usual game-day routine. I changed into the game kit and went to the shower area to do some pre warming up. The kit-man knows that, so there was already a gym-mat prepared on the floor (Thanks man!). I was done after about 25 minutes and went to the kine for some tape. The music box was on full volume and I guess Joren Dom was the DJ that day because Tekno music was playing. I had a banana and went to the toilet. Wise quote: “Better before the game, than during the game”.

It was 10 minutes before the start of the game and we all got together in the dressing room. All players and Staff-members were standing in a circle and had the arms around each other. Someone (Either the Coach or our Captain) was making a speech, about the importance of this game and how hard we have worked for this moment bla bla…but to be honest, I wasn’t even listening…I was already in the “Zone”. Everyone started to scream and shout and we left the dressing room towards the field. We were standing in a line and everyone had probably the same thought: “It’s now or never…This is the moment we all have been waiting for.” I said another short prayer to myself and the game kicked off exactly at 7 pm.

02.08.2020

20:45

The game is over. It is impossible to describe how I feel right now. We won 1:4 and are CHAMPIONS. As of this moment, my team and me are promoted to the highest League of Belgium Football. There are so many thoughts and emotions running through my stomach and head right now that I don’t know what to do…to scream, to jump, to cry, to pray…So I just decided to kneel down and kiss the football field, this perfect piece of lawn. Everybody connected to Beerschot ran on the field and started to scream and shout. The team-manager came on the field with many boxes of Champagne. Bottles pupped, people got Champagne-Showers and everything was just amazing. While we were dancing, jumping, screaming and just celebrating this moment, the people from the Event Management came and started to build up a small stage on the field. After around 30 minutes we went up on the stage and received the Champion’s Cup…The cup looked beautiful, stunning, prettier than any woman I have ever met 😛

Our Capitan raised the cup and I was enjoying this moment and making memories for a lifetime. Like I mentioned before: I have been with this club for many years and it has been always the ambition to reach EXACTLY this moment right now. Finally we made it. We had so many doubters and haters. 5 years ago, hardly anyone believed in us, 3 years ago (playing in the amateur leagues) hardly anyone believed in us. Last year, hardly anyone,…and even a couple of months ago we still had plenty of doubters and haters. But we never lost the believe and kept standing up and moving forward. We worked our ass off and one of my biggest dreams was coming true right now. We are finally where we belong and we fully deserve it!

I will say only 3 things. The 1^st thing: We finally made it. Finally we (this Club) are where we belong; in 1A. The 2^nd thing: Fuck all the Haters. Personally the haters who hated me, who hate this Club, we made it. So Fuck the Haters. And the 3^rd thing: We are Legends now.

Nothing more to say.

03.08.2020 – 06.08.2020

Cloud Nine 

24.10.2020

Our start to the Highest League of Belgium football has been successful. After 4 games we had 9 points and where top 3 in entire Belgium. Personally it couldn’t have gone any better. I played every single game in the starting 11 and we were the best defense in Belgium. I was living the dream. Everything I wished for has come true and finally I was competing with the best teams and players in Belgium – with great results. We could face proudly every single team and were proving to everyone that we belong here (being Top 3 in the Table shows enough). Everyone at the club was in such a great mood; the Beerschot supporters had our backs and proudly so.

Only 3 years ago I was not even in the squad in an amateur division and now I am playing every single game in 1^st Division, beating teams like Club Brugge. This is just amazing and I felt like I am on top of the world, eager to keep rising! Unfortunately, it went the opposite for me.

The bad news is …nothing lasts forever. The good news is…nothing lasts forever. So be ready.

Today is the 24^th of October and it’s the day before the big Darby vs Royal Antwerp. After such a great start into the season the Coaching staff has decided to rotate the team for some reasons. So since the 5^th game of the season I am not in the starting 11 anymore and have to be content with sitting on the bench. To boot it, for tomorrow’s game I am not even selected for the squad of 18 players. Just a couple of weeks ago I was feeling like I am contending on Olympus and now it’s the exactly opposite. Every professional football player wants to play every game, this is a natural drive, the reason we became professional players. So it is obvious that if a player is not playing, he is angry/pissed and disappointed. If a player is not angry or even happy to sit on the bench, then he should better stop playing football. From my previous blog articles you know that I am one of the players who is eager to play every single game and hates to sit on the bench. You work hard and prepare all week for the up-coming game …and are detained from playing. You fought so much to get here, to live your dream and suddenly being withdrawn…Of course I wish my team-mates only the best, all of them can count on my full support, but let’s be real… not playing sucks!!!

So the past 1-2 weeks I have been thinking a lot. I went on long walks…and was thinking, I went to the Church and was thinking, I drove to the beach and sat on the sand for hours and was thinking. I was thinking about a lot of things… the situation I am in, the reason for it, the dream which I am suddenly not living anymore. Actually, just a load full of bad thoughts. And then suddenly I stopped lamenting and realized: Wtf I am doing?

I am Denis Prychynenko, the guy with a big mouth, the guy who writes even a blog to motivate people … and now I am feeling so down for something so small? It is indeed easy to have a big mouth and share all these motivational quotes when everything is going well. But can I also do it when I am down? Can I stand up again and stop feeling sorry for myself? I decided: “Yes I can!”

If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy. (Dale Carnegie)

Nothing good ever comes from worrying or sitting there feeling sorry for yourself… Keep positive and keep pushing on and things will turn good. (Conor McGregor)

There are people out there who struggle for food, hiding from bombs, fighting an illness,…and here I am, sitting home and feeling sorry for myself?! It was time to wake up and fight my way back. Despite this setback I decided to work much harder and put even more effort and time into training. I started to train much more aggressively and making training game real. I started to dedicate my evenings to more stretching and yoga, improving my diet and sleeping earlier. You won’t find ‘giving up’ in my dictionary.

I realized once again that you should never let yourself be discouraged or dispirited. Do everything to keep your mind focused, it’s still the same dream you are fighting for, keep at it. Of course sometimes you will fall, but then you have to rise again. You need to push yourself up and keep moving forward. This makes life so exciting…If everything would always stay the same, life would get boring, economists call it stagnation, a state absolutely to be avoided. So get used to the ups and downs and accept them…but never stay still. Keep rising up and keep setting yourself new goals. I know you can, I know you will fight until the end and get what you deserve. You’ve done it all your life, because you are a Champion.

“To be a Champion, compete; to be a Great Champion, compete with the best; but to be the GREATEST CHAMPION, compete with yourself.”

Create Memories

Today is the 27^th January 2020 and for the 1^st time I am writing an article in the present time. If you followed my blog, you will realize that I write a lot about motivating people to fight for their dreams and ambitions. This article will be a bit different. At this moment I am 27 years, living in Belgium (Antwerpen) and still chasing my Football dream at the Club Beerschot. If someone would have told me 3 years ago, that I will become Champion and promote to the second league, play 2 promotion finals to the Highest League of Belgium football, sign a new long-term contract, be the player with the 2^nd most games for this Club Beerschot, have interests from Clubs on highest Level, live in a beautiful apartment in the Zuid of Antwerpen and drive around in a BMW,…I would have signed up for this fantasy right away.

My 2 Cousins (left and back) ,my Mother and Sister (middle) and me (right)

However, this fantasy indeed became reality. I can say that I am unbelievably thankful and amazed that everything turned out this way. I am very happy and grateful to the situation I am in, in this moment. But it wasn’t always like that…and I am sure that it will not always stay like that.

The bad news is ...nothing lasts forever,
The good news is...nothing lasts forever. 
So be ready.

Now I am sitting in a small Coffee Bar and thinking back about the way how I got here and everything I went through; with a big smile on my face. Weather good or bad, I am grateful for every single memory because it will last a lifetime.

I remember…

…how I went to a football boarding school at the age of 12 and how much I hated it there. Living far away from my family and friends at this age gave me many difficult times, and that for 4 years……my time in Edinburgh (Scotland). I moved there all alone at the age of 17 years and lived in Edinburgh for 4 years. And how devastated I was when the club went insolvent and I had to leave.…..how difficult it was for me in Sevastopol, Sofia or Brussels because the Clubs stopped paying our salaries and went bankrupt. I remember how I signed in Union Berlin but was suspended from the team and wasn’t allowed to train any more……or my 1^st year at Beerschot and how bad I felt not being part of the team.

These painful memories will always stay with me; they are part of my life and the path I am walking. If it would be possible to erase negative moments from my brain, I would never do that. These moments made me the person I am now, so I will keep them because erasing any of life’s experiences would be one of the biggest mistakes.

Memory is sweet. Even when it’s painful, memory is sweet.

I remember how I first got introduced to football, thanks to my Dad. The way he trained and taught me every single day. The hunger and desire he had awoken in me to get better and better. To never give up until I have what I really want. I remember my mother, how she sacrificed her time and energy to give me the ability to develop myself into a person with honour, respect, creativity and brain. My sister who was always there for me with an ear to listen to my problems and always seemed to have an answer to them.

• 

  My Family

But what would life be without friends, without companionship? Without realizing it my friends helped me to find a balance.

In all aspects of our lives balance is key. Part of this balance means not missing out on some of the marvels of life around you, the fun, some excitement, or other challenges in life. Never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life to enjoy and remember. Find a Balance.

• 

  Arvydas (right) and me

I remember many stories with my team-mate from Hearts, Arvydas Novikovas. For example, how we went into a strip-club in Edinburgh and actually saw the girlfriend of our good Friend working as a stripper. So, we decided to pay her for a private dance and send a video to our friend. He didn’t talk to us for about 6 months after that.

Another night, Arvydas and me went out clubbing at “Why Not” in Edinburgh. That night, he got very drunk and started a fight. Obviously, I joined the fight to help him. The fight was broken off by the security and we were thrown out of the club. As we were escorted out, there was a police car standing in front of us…Still drunk and angry Arvydas kicked the window of the police car at full force and the window broke into pieces. The 2 policemen got out of the car and started chasing him. But because he was so drunk, he kept falling over so that the police got him eventually. It turned out to be a fun night at the police station.

• 

  Arvydas (right) and me

Another good memory which always makes me smile is how Arvydas and me rented a nice Mercedes Benz together for 6 months. We agreed to switch the car around on a daily basis…so one day, he could use the car, the next day me, and so on. But because it was such a cool car, it was always difficult (for both of us) to give it away on the next day. So obviously we always argued about who’s turn it was to use the car. One day (it was his turn to drive the Mercedes) I had a date and wanted to show off a bit, so I asked Avrydas if I could use the car. He clearly didn’t need it at that moment, but he refused to give me the key. We started to argue again, but he still didn’t change his mind. So I waited until he went to the toilet; I took the car keys and just ran out of his apartment. I started the car and drove away. On the way I picked up the girl and we drove to a restaurant in the city centre of Edinburgh called “Gusto”. We just ordered the starters when suddenly Arvydas came into the restaurant, showed me the middle finger and went out again. I was surprised how he got here but more importantly, how he found me. Anyway, I was curious and walked out of the restaurant to check what he was up to. And what did I see?… I saw the Mercedes Benz with 4 flat tires …Arvydas cut every single tire of the Mercedes Benz with a Knife. The funny thing was that the knife was still hanging inside the right front tire.

I remember how Arvydas and me went to the Fitness Center sometimes. We always used to play competitive games like Table Tennis, Squash or Tennis. One day we played Table Tennis and decided that whoever wins the game can give the loser a task to do, which you cannot refuse. Unfortunately, I lost the game. So basically, now Arvydas had the “power” over me. He was thinking and thinking, but after a while he told me to go to the gym (which was full of people…around 100 people) He told me to stay in the corner of the gym; then to start to dance and sing out loud: “That’s me in the corner. That’s me in the spotlight, losing my religion.” So I did it and he nearly pissed himself because he was laughing too much. I was so embarrassed and didn’t show up at that gym for 1 month after that.

• 

  Arvydas, me, Mariuz Zaliukas

I remember how Mariuz Zaliukas gave me a new Blackberry Phone as a present or Adrian Mrowiec, who gave me his nice Peugeot Car, basically for free.

I remember how Mark Rigers and me were freestyle rapping every day on the way to training. Or how Rob Ogleby tried to teach me how to cook properly.

I remember how I went fishing with Erwin Hoffer. We actually caught a big fish and I saw Erwin Hoffer celebrating more than after scoring a goal.

Octavio (right) and me

I remember about 2 years ago. We just lost the promotion final with Beerschot against Cercle Brugge and our Coach Marc Brys gave us 7 days off to clear our heads a bit. It was 1 day after the final and I was chilling in the apartment of my team-mate Octavio. The atmosphere was still very depressed (which is normal after you lose an important final). I came to his place at around 1pm and I think we didn’t even speak one single word to each other…I was on my phone playing Chess and he was watching some Brazilian TV Show. At around 6pm Octavio said: ”I am hungry, let’s go out and eat something.” I agreed, and asked: “What do you want to eat?” He wanted Steak. So I gave him some restaurant options like Meat and Eat, Da Giovannis, Arte,… He was thinking for some time and said: “The best Steak I ever ate was a Bistecca in Florence (Italy) at a restaurant called “Perseus.” I looked at him for a while and said: ”Okay, let go there.” We both started to laugh and looked at each other. Suddenly we both stood up at the same time, prepared 2 bags very fast, sat in his car, installed the navigation system in direction Florence and left. After 1300km, an accident somewhere in Switzerland and 14 hours later, we were sitting at the restaurant “Perseus” in Florence and Octavio was 100% right. It was the best Steak I ever had.

I remember how I was playing Basketball with my team-mate Rubin Okotie. Last summer we actually played every single day, after our football training. We always played “Free Throws”…1^st to 10 wins the game. It started off with 5 Euro per game, so were both very eager to win. The games were so intense and we screamed/celebrated so much when we won or lost. I think the whole neighbourhood was sick of us. Unfortunately, Rubin Okotie left the Club Beerschot and moved back to his hometown Vienna. Luckily for me, because I still owe him 1200 Euro from these Basketball games. Don’t worry, I promise to pay you back one day 😛

Rubin Okotie (left) and me

I remember how I went to Marrakesh with my team-mate Mohamed Messoudi. One night he took me to a Russian Nightclub called Raspoutine. I was enjoying myself a lot. There was this girl which I found really attractive. So I started talking to her and giving her all my attention and time. We stayed in that club till 5am or something and I never left the side of that girl. I think I was even falling in love with her already. We exchanged numbers. The next day I messaged her and asked her out for breakfast somewhere in Marrakesh. She came and we had a very nice time I believed. When we finished breakfast, I told her that I would like to see her again. So she told me: “You still owe me 500 Euro, from yesterday and today. If you pay it, we can meet again.” Turned out, I fell in love with an escort.

Mohamed Messoudi (right) and me

I remember my time in CSKA Sofia. We went to Turkey on winter training camp for exactly 41 days. I shared a room with the goalkeeper Jakub Divis. (Btw it’s known that goalkeepers are always weirdos) Anyway we trained 2-3 times per day and I actually enjoyed it a lot. The 1^st week passed quite fast and I had nothing to complain about. 2 weeks passed. Then 3 weeks. And every single day, weather I came back from training, breakfast, dinner,…I saw the same face…the face of my room mate Jakub Divis. I know that people need some privacy sometimes, so sometimes I just went to the beach or stayed couple hours in the Lobby, so that Jakub could have some private time. I was hoping that he would also do the same for me at times, so that I could also have some privacy. But this guy actually never ever left the room unless we had to (training, breakfast, lunch or dinner,…and that was it) For the rest he constantly stayed in the room. What made it even worse was that the walls of the toilet and shower were out of glass. Plus, he always closed the windows. At night, it was so hot at times, so that I went to open the windows and went back to bed. 1 minute later he would get out of his bed and close it again. Then I would stand up and open it again, 1 min later he would close it again….I was getting so sick of him, that I wanted to fight with him every day. This 41 days became like a nightmare and I think I never hated someone so much as I hated him. Turns out negative emotions can easily be transformed into a strong bond, after the training camp we actually became very good friends and still keep in touch until now. He even invited me to celebrate the birth of his 1^st son…which brings me to the next funny memory.

Jakub Divis and me

Jakub Divis, just became a father for the 1^st time. We were in Sofia and it was the middle of the season, so he could fly home to Prague only in a couple of days. He called me and invited me (and 2 other players) to a restaurant and a nightclub after. It was a great night. The food was amazing and at the club it was nice too. I think we ordered about 5 big bottles of vodka. Like Jakub said: “If the father doesn’t get drunk on the night his 1^st child is born, he is not a real father.” He kept to his words and got unbelievably drunk. He was dancing like a Mongol, screaming at everyone and just enjoying himself. It was an amazing night, but unfortunately the night club was about to close and we left. I didn’t drink because I was the driver. Everyone got into the car and before I started to drive I told everyone to be very calm and careful. (Especially to Jakub, because he was very drunk.) Because my driving license had just expired and I forgot to renew it. Plus, the insurance for the car also expired. I started to drive, the streets were not busy and everything seemed to be alright. Suddenly a police car was over taking us and started to drive in front of us. I slowed down a bit, to make the distance between the police car and us bigger and bigger. Unluckily a traffic-light appeared and it was red. So unfortunately, I was standing just 2 meters behind the police. I said: “ Jakub, please don’t fuck it up. I don’t have a license and this car is not registered. Please just chill out and stay calm.” But what did he do? He went out of the car, walked to the police car, opened the trunk of the police car and screamed: “Fuck the police, coming straight from the underground.” Actually, it was so funny, that me and the other 2 team-mates started to laugh out loud. Jakub ran back to our car and sat inside. The 2 policeman got out of their car and walked towards us. Then Jakub shouted: “Drive Denis.” So I did. I put the car into reverse, turned and started to drive as fast as possible. In the mirror I saw the police car putting on their blue lights and sirens. Everyone in the car was screaming and celebrating, which gave me a lot of adrenaline. To be honest, it was so exciting that I started to like it. I don’t remember exactly everything any more, but after about 5-7 right and left turns I thought that the police lost us. I started to drive normal again but suddenly the police car came with full speed from behind, overtook us and stopped right in front of us. I nearly crashed into them but managed to make an emergency brake. Immediately 2 police men stormed out of their car with their guns pointing at me and screamed: “Everyone get out of the car, now.” Without any hesitation, we stepped out of the car with our hands behind the head. The policemen looked at us and said: “Denis Prychynenko? Jakub Divis and Toni Silva? Is that you? We are huge CSKA Sofia fans. Can we please take a Selfie with all of you?” Each one of us started to laugh and we made a Selfie with the policemen. They didn’t even check my licence or made an alcohol test. The only thing they said was: “Thank you guys. Enjoy your night and drive carefully. SAMO CSKA.” Thinking back, that was one of the best nights ever.

Raphael Holzhauser (right) and me

I remember I finished with my Girlfriend and downloaded tinder. I matched with a beautiful girl called Jane and started chatting to her. We exchanged numbers and started to message a lot. We even send each other pictures. I started to like her a lot and after about 1 week we decided to meet each other at a restaurant in Antwerpen Zuid. I dressed up very nicely and was very nervous. I arrived at the restaurant and saw my team-mate Raphael Holzhauser drinking a coffee there. I decided to sit a couple of tables in front of him so that it won’t be awkward for my date. I was waiting and waiting and after about 30 minutes Jane messaged me and said, that she is in the restaurant already. I looked around but couldn’t see her. I messaged her, that I can’t see her. So she messaged back: “Just turn around Denis.” I turn around and see Raphael Holzhauser looking at me and then burst out laughing to tears. Turns out that he knew I am using tinder, so he created a fake Tinder Profile as a girl called Jane. The whole week he was pretending to be “Jane”, just to take the piss out of me.

As you can see, I have a lot of funny and interesting memories to share. To be honest, I have much more crazy ones to tell, but I will keep them for another time. I can say that it was not always easy in my life/carrier. I had many ups and downs. In every situation, I kept chasing and fighting for my dreams and ambitions. That makes me proud of myself. I work very hard, keep the focus on my goals and have the desire to get better and better. I am only 27 years old, but if there is 1 thing, which I learned from all my life experiences so far, is to enjoy it and cherish every single moment. When it gets hard, you need to adapt, analyse, be patient but still thankful for being alive. 

“The most powerful weapon against your daily battles is finding the courage to be grateful anyway.”

Only Yesterday (26^th January 2020) Kobe Bryant, one of the greatest Sportsmen has died in a helicopter accident. What I want to say with this is that you never know what will happen tomorrow. You should stop wasting time worrying about the future, because these thoughts will stop you from living this moment right now. Use this moment for something which makes you happy. Yes, I know sometimes work sucks or school is boring. I know you need to make money to pay your bills. You can moan about it and constantly complain, but that will change nothing…Don’t waste this moments of your life, try to enjoy it, laugh, live, connect with people. Don’t forget to create memories…

“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it’s worth watching”

Unique

Its the summer of 2016 and I am in Berlin. I had some very rough weeks, actually some very rough years behind me. To sum it up, I was unemployed again. I was 24, full of dreams and ambitions, but for the 4^th time the Football Club I played in went “broke” and left me empty handed.

I restarted my usual training routine. I woke up in the morning, went for a run, followed by a gym session. In the afternoon I went on the football field to do some technical stuff with the ball and finished with interval runs. I have done this every single day for the whole May and June 2016. I was home in Berlin but I didn’t even went out once for a drink or dinner with my friends and family. I was waiting and preparing for a chance in a team that was interested in me. To be honest, my carrier CV didn’t looked very great at that time and I didn’t even have an Agent, so I was willing to take and use any offer which came to me. By the end of July I had not 1 single offer or even phone call from Agents. But I kept training hard and trying to deal with this current situation.

You cant change your situation, the only thing you can change is how you chose to deal with it.

In the middle of July 2016 I received a call from an Agent from Belgium. He told me that there is interest from a 3^rd League team called Beerschot. At first I didn’t even considered this offer, because Beerschot played in an amateur league at that time, which was far away from my desired goals and ambitions. But Beerschot with the Coach Marc Brys were very interested in me and wanted to meet me in person to convince me about this Club. They even booked me a plane ticket and hotel room for the next day, without me agreeing yet. I thought that I had nothing to loose and could anyway use a couple days off from my individual training. I could meet them and just listen to what they had to offer. Furthermore I thought that it would be nice to visit Antwerpen because I heard good things about this city. But deep down, I was sure that I will not sign for a 3^rd League team who was just promoted from the 4^th League. Since I was 18 I played in highest League teams and wanted to keep it that way.

You have to consider to enter an open door, before you close it – Keep your options open.

Anyway, I flew to Antwerpen. The meeting was at the Olympic Stadium Antwerpen, which was the home of Beerschot. The moment I entered the stadium I was speechless. I couldn’t believe that a 3^rd League team was playing in such a nice stadium. Furthermore I was told that the stadium is nearly full at every home game. For the 1^st time in my life I met Marc Brys. He seemed very confident and intelligent. I had a very good impression of him. The interesting thing was that we didn’t even spoke about football. The very 1^st question he asked me was: “What are you reading, and what is it about”? (Because I had a book in my hands) Marc Brys asked me questions connected to life which were deep. I remember thinking:”This Guy has probably a Doctors degree in Philosophy or something.”

Furthermore he told me all about the Club Beerschot. It was a big project; they had big ambitions and wanted to promote to the Highest League as fast as possible. He assured me that I would be one of the Key-players and that Beerschot will have the strongest team in this League. He planned me as a right central defender in a duo with Arjan Swinkels. The more Marc Brys was talking, the more I started to believe in this project. Somehow he made all my doubts turn into enthusiasm and excitement. By the end of the meeting I was holing a Pen in my hands, signing a 2 years contract with Beerschot.

My entire life can be described in 1 sentence: „It didn’t go as planned, and that’s OK.“

The pre-season started and I was full of energy and hopes. The team was strong and I was sure that we will promote this season. I was 24 an have never been a regular starting 11 player at 1^st team level yet. I was 100% sure that I will be starting every game at Beerschot and can finally do what I loved the most: To play Football, week in and week out. Furthermore I knew that many teams and scouts were following Belgium football and if I would perform good, some bigger teams would show interest in me. Unfortunately I got a small injury during pre-season and was out for 2-3 weeks. During this time I got replaced by Jan van den Bergh. He was doing very well, but I didn’t fear for my place. I was sure that the Coach planned with me as his basic right Central Defender. The first games of the competition started. I was already fully fit but wasn’t selected to the 18 man squad yet. It was a bit strange for me, but I believed that it was connected to my previous injury.

Weeks and weeks passed, we kept winning and I still didn’t play and wasn’t even on the bench. I had some talks with Marc Brys about my situation and he explained that the current central defender duo ( Swinkels and Van den Bergh) is doing well, so he cant change them at the moment. At that time I agreed with him and just kept training hard. I was in this situation before, so I didn’t panic…I told to myself:” Stay calm Denis, keep working and be ready/prepared for when you finally will get your chance. And then Marc Brys will never take you out again.”

My situation wasn’t how I planned and expected it to be. I didn’t had a Club car in my contract, so Beerschot gave me a bicycle. Furthermore Beerschot found me an “apartment”. It was a 11 square meter Student-Room in Wilrijk. I didn’t liked it at all (actually I hated it), but I had to take it because the Hotel costs were getting to high for Beerschot. So basically it was either staying in the Hotel (paying it myself) or moving to this “shit” apartment. There was no TV, no Sofa, no real kitchen, no Table, … only enough space for a single bed mattress and a wardrobe. I was not happy with this situation, but I still tried to stay positive. One of the positive things was that I made friendships with many of my team-mates like Mohamed Messoudi, Hernan Losada, Alexander Maes and many more, who were always there and share funny and cool moment with.

You should also appreciate the goodness around you, and surround yourself with positive people.

Months passed and I still didn’t played for the 1^st team yet. To my surprise, I even had to play for the 2^nd team on every Monday night. I never complained once, but to be honest I felt very disrespected. The 1^st team usually played on Saturday night, but I had to train individually every Saturday morning with Marc Noe ( a great and honorable Man and Coach, who turned into a good friend of mine) because I wasn’t even in the 18 man squad, plus Monday nights I had to play with the 2^nd team. Our Coach Marc Brys resisted that every player had to come to every away game. Like I mentioned before, I didn’t had a car, so sometimes I even had to take a train to city’s like Dessel, Deinze, Seraing, and support the team which didn’t selected me to the games. To be honest I felt very embarrassed but I always had a smile on my face and found energy to look happy in front of my Team-mates… I thought always: “It is, how it is, but always show respect and honor to your team mates, Coaches and Supporters.”

Never let a bad situation bring out the worst in you. Be strong and choose to be positive.

I remember one away game: (I cant remember against which team) “I wasn’t selected to the squad again and had to train that morning individually. Obviously I was very unhappy about this and my mood was very down. At night I took a train to the away game, which took me about 2 hours or so. Beerschot won and everyone was smiling, celebrating and happy. Of course I was happy for my team and colleagues, but deep down I felt unbelievable bad. I took the train and literally cried the hole train ride back to Antwerpen. I walked to my “shit” apartment. I sat on my mattress and kept crying until I fell asleep”

I believe that was one of the lowest points of my life. I was 24 and have been through a lot of downs in my carrier. I played in 5 professional Clubs so far, of which 4 went bankrupt/insolvent. 3 of that Clubs still owe me money close to 100 000 Euro. But all that didn’t matter to me. All I wanted was to play football. I gave so much passion, love, sweat, hard work, tears …I trained and worked all my life, just to stay on the field and play football. The feeling when I am on the field and the game starts is just indescribable to me…When I am on the field I get unbelievable much energy, I get 1000 thoughts in my head, but somehow It gives me also calmness…I feel free…Nothing and nobody is above me…I feel like: “This is where I belong and have to be.”

This vision of football I followed in every of my Clubs, but for one reason or another it never worked out for me. And also in Beerschot, (a 3^rd League team at that time) I couldn’t make my vision and dream become reality. I kept fighting with myself (mentally). I was fighting against: quitting on football; quitting on my dreams; quitting on myself; letting my parents down and everything they did for me so I could live my football dream; all the sacrifices I made for football; all the pain football caused for me; all the years I spend on football; … This battle within me, turned out to be one of the the hardest and roughest fights I ever faced.

The darkest hour has only 60 minutes… its over soon.

One day I woke up and opened an old photo-album of me and my family, which I always take with me. I saw many pictures of the child Denis. The 2 year old me, the 6 year old me,……. This Child had a dream, to become the best and reach the top. This Child wanted to be special and achieve great things in life. The years passed and he kept fighting. Many “stones” where in his way, but he kept fighting and moving this stones away. I believe, that his attitude combined with his hunger to succeed, his desire to move forward, his will to go through pain and his Love for the things he did; this made him “Unique”. I was not willing to let this Child down, so I kept fighting.

To become ‚unique,‘ the challenge is to fight the hardest battle which anyone can imagine until you reach your destination.

I started to work and train harder and harder. After every training I stayed longer and went to the gym to work on my physique. I was sure that Marc Brys will give me a chance soon. And I was right: Arjan Swinkels got an injury and was out for a couple of weeks. So finally I started to play. I was full of energy and desire. I was sure that I will not fail and do everything to keep my place in the team. I started 3 games in a row and we won all of them. We didn’t conceded any goal and I played really strong and solid. Finally I started to feel happier and satisfied in Belgium and Antwerpen.

It was a Thursday and we were preparing for the next game on Saturday, which would be my 4^th game in a row for Beerschot. On this day Arjan Swinkels was back from injury and trained for the 1^st time with the group again. I was happy for Arjan that he was fit again, but I was 100% sure that I will start the game and not him. The last games I played really well and the team was winning; plus it was 2 days before the next game. Marc Brys announced the starting 11 for the next match and to my surprise, he put Arjan in the team. I was fuming! I was so angry at the Coach and wanted to make it obvious. So I “stopped” training, wasn’t running any more and shot all balls away. Obviously Marc Brys realized my behavior and wanted to see me in his office straight after training. I came to his office, still raging. Of course Marc knew the reason for my anger, so he started to explain:”Denis, I understand your anger, you want to play. You were really impressive the last games and training’s, you fully deserve to play, but but but…” this was the last things I heard and just screamed: “STOP, SHUT YOUR MOUTH!” I was so angry that I couldn’t control myself, I was shaking and had even tears in my eyes. He and all the Coaching stuff were shocked. I continued shouting:”Stop with this bullshit explanations and just shut up.” And like Marc Brys is, he remained very calm and controlled and asked: ”Okay, and now?” I said:”If you don’t stop speaking I will punch you and your Coaching stuff in the face”. Only at that moment I realized that I crossed the line. I stood up, and said that I need 2 minutes to cool myself down outside. After 2 minutes I returned and excused myself to everyone. Marc and the Coaches seemed very understanding and we started a long and deep conversation. After about 1 hour I left the office and said:”Remember my words Coach, One day I will be your best player.”

I was not proud about my reaction but I believe that after this “conversation” with Marc our relationship changed and I believe that I got more respect from him and the coaching stuff.

Like expected, we promoted to the 2^nd highest League of Belgium. I got another chance and used it again. This time I stayed in the team and was never taken out again. The next season of 2017/2018 I played basically every single game and everything was going amazing. It was the 1^st time in my carrier that I was actually playing. I was 26 but I believe that my carrier only really started then. We played an amazing Season and even reached the Finals to promote to the Highest League of Belgium. (Unfortunately we lost and became 2^nd place).

Personally I played a great season and proved to myself that everything I did was worth it. I even got interests and offers from other bigger teams but I decided to stay and signed a new 3 year contract with Beerschot. Furthermore I finally moved and found a nice apartment in the City center of Antwerpen. I gave my bicycle away and got a nice car from the club. I was feeling happy. And just before I left on my summer vacation (which I didn’t had for the past 5 years) I got a message from Marc Brys, saying: ”You kept your word Denis. You were my best player this season. Enjoy your vacation.”

From my experiences I learned that life and football is all about ups and downs. It is completely normal, so you have to deal with it. One day you are the Looser, the next day you are the Hero…that`s bullshit. You will always be a Hero if you keep fighting for your dream, for who you are or want to be. You are a Hero if you keep your focus and believe in yourself. So just celebrate who you are and let nothing bring you down. I know it`s difficult at times, but don’t compare yourself with others, it`s YOUR Dream, it`s YOUR Focus, you are Unique.

Till I Collapse

Its the beginning of March 2016 and here I was, sitting in the office of John Bico, signing a new contract with White Star Brussels. The team was playing in the 2^nd highest League of Belgium and was currently on 2^nd position, 9 points behind the leader Royal Antwerp and there were only 8 more games to play this season. Obviously I knew that it would be very difficult, but still the main goal was to become Champion and promote to the Jupiler Pro League. I was 24 years at that moment and lived already in 6 different country’s because of football. It was never my intention to move so quickly from county to country; usually I always signed long term contracts and planed to settle, but life always turned against my plans so far. Belgium was a new beginning with new people, a new language, a new culture and I had a very good feeling about the coming period of my life.

The secret to a rich life is to have more beginnings than endings.

The football business is quite a tough world. The are many components which are important and crucial for the career of a professional football player. One of them is: You need the trust and support of your Coaches. Luckily this wasn’t an issue for me at White Star Brussels. My Coach and Manager at that time was John Bico. I know that many people criticize him a lot and are not a fan of his actions, especially the media. But he and Aurelien Joachim where the men who opened the door for me in Belgium Football. They were there for me, when I was at the bottom and needed someone to help me up again. John Bico believed in me and gave me a chance to show and prove myself. Sometimes this is all you need in football to be successful. I will always be grateful to him and to me he will always be a man of respect.

“Life’s most urgent questions is: What are you doing for others?”

So I played all remaining games of the season and we won every game. Furthermore the team on the 1^st position (Royal Antwerp) kept losing games, so the gap between us became smaller and smaller. Then I realized that White Star had some financial problems as my first salary was paid with a delay of about 5 weeks. But anyway, we kept winning and Royal Antwerp kept loosing. So by the middle of April 2016 we were just 4 points behind Royal Antwerp with 2 more games to play. The interesting part was that the whole team didn’t received their salary’s and bonuses for the past 2 months, but the spirit on and off the field was still just unbelievable. I was amazed by this, because usually if a player doesn’t get paid he looses his spirit mentally and physically, so he cant perform on his maximum level. But our spirit was stronger than ever and the reason for this was John Bico. He was my 16^th professional head Coach ( which is quite unbelievable for a player who is 24 years old) but I have never seen someone who can motivate you as much as he can. Players entered his office angry, frustrated or furious at him cause of the late payments or other things, but each of them left the office as motivated and inspired as ever. That is one of Johns talents I guess. And this was one reason why we became Champions of the Proximus League in 2016. Royal Antwerp got only 1 Point from the last 2 games and we won both games. I was over the moon. 3 months ago I came to Belgium and now I became Champion and was going to promote to the highest league in Belgium football. After all the ups and downs in my career I finally came much closer to my biggest dreams and goals. The coming season we would play against top teams like Anderlecht, Club Brugge, Gent,Genk… That’s what I worked for all my life and it felt amazing. We celebrated for about 1 week, went from night club to night club and just enjoyed this moments to the fullest.

Never forget to celebrate your success. Success will fade, but the memories connected to it will stay forever.

After the celebration and receiving of the Champions Trophy, I booked a ticket to Berlin for my summer holidays. Furthermore I also booked a return ticket, cause the pre-season for the Jupiler Pro League would start in 3 weeks time. I had 2 more days before my flight to Berlin and I was enjoying every minute. We just promoted to the highest League of Belgium and I was sure I will have an amazing summer holiday because of that. I booked trips to Barcelona for 1 week, after to Moscow for a couple of days. I just loved the feeling of accomplishing my goals and not worrying about the future, cause everything seems to be perfect. But 1 day before my flight to Berlin I suddenly I received a message from John Bico in the WhatsApp group of White Star. He was saying something about the news and that we shouldn’t believe what they are saying about the club. Furthermore he said that the club will go to court in 7 days and will win the case for sure. I didn’t knew what he was talking about, so I went online and checked out the recent football news. I couldn’t believe what I saw: White Star didn’t received the Professional licence and is not allowed to promote to the Jupiler Pro League. There would be a final court meeting in 7 days where the future of the club would be decided. I was shocked and thought: “OH No, not again.” The exact same thing happened to me about 1 year ago at CSKA Sofia, when the club also didn’t received the Professional License. And that was a nightmare.

So I decided to cancel my flight to Berlin and stay in Brussels for the coming 7 days. I wanted to wait for the decision of the court, because that will also decide my future. The 7 days passed very slowly and it was the day of the final court meeting. Nervously I was following the news. Finally the decision was made: White Star didn’t receive the Professional License and has to relegate to amateur Level. From Jupiler Pro League to the 3^rd League. I was shocked. How could this happen again? I couldn’t believe it. I was thinking: “Why always me”? I was 24 years old, I played in 5 professional teams and 4 of them went bankrupt. That was just unbelievable and words cant describe how I felt.

Sometimes all you can do is lie in bed and hope to fall asleep before you fall apart.

If you are reading my blog articles you will realize that I had a lot of low points in my life, but I always found a reason to keep fighting; to keep my head up, learn from the past and continue to work hard and chase my dreams. But this time it was different. I was unemployed again, lost all my spirit, all motivation and thought that this time I finally hit rock bottom. I cancelled all my holiday trips and just flew to Berlin to visit my parents. The first couple of days I didn’t even left the house and had no contact with anyone. I felt like being stuck in a hole and I had no desire to lift myself up from there. After about 5 days I started to think about my life and everything connected to it. I believe that everything has a purpose, even the worst things in life; so I was trying to figure out why I am so unlucky in my career and life so far. There were days where I just sat in my car, driving into a forest, screaming and crying out: FUUUCK, wtf is the purpose of this… I train so hard, hours and hours for the thing I love the most. But life keeps punching me in the face over and over again.

I started to read a book of Irvin d. Yalom and my eyes fell upon a sentence where he asked himself:”Do you live life in such a way that you are willing to repeat the same life eternally”? Suddenly it clicked in my head. YES. Yes, that’s exactly what I want. I will live just the way I had lived the previous year-and the year before that and before that. Because I am chasing a dream. A dream that I chase since I am 7 years old. A dream that pushed me out of every bad situation in life and gave me hope. A dream that gave me happiness and made me the person I am now…a guy who is willing to fight, to work hard, to learn and above all: to stay loyal to himself.

Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuild my life.

I am writing this blog to motivate young people, athlete or not, to fight for their dreams, to encourage themselves to not give up, even when everything seems fucked up; to never stop working and NEVER lose the focus to your dreams. I know its very hard at times but you have to keep going and eventually you will realize that all the shit things from the past will have a positive effect on you. Like it did with me. I will never quit on my dreams. I will never stop working and believing Nothing can hold me back, eventually I will get there. I will keep going TILL I COLLAPSE.

Time changes, Friends stay

It was the summer of 2015 and again I was looking for a new club. I was only 23 years old and my carrier couldn’t have turned out any worse. I played in 3 professional clubs so far. My 1st club Heart of Midlothian went insolvent. My 2nd club FK Sevastopol was liquidated and doesn’t exist anymore after my first year at the club; even though I had a 3 year contract. My 3rd club CSKA Sofia was bankrupt and had to go down to the 4th league after my first year at the club; and again I had a 3 year contract. Furthermore I had already 14 professional Coaches/Managers changes and I was owed more than 80 000 Euros from my former clubs. To be honest I think there is not one single professional football player who had such an unlucky carrier with only 23 years. I am sure many players would have given up already and would look for another job with steady income and without this kind of stress. But I had a dream to chase and there was really nothing what could have brought me down. I wanted to play in the highest level of professional football; playing and competing against the best clubs and players in the world…the Champions League.

If your dreams don’t scare you they aren’t big enough. 

 

So when I got a contract offer from 1. FC Union Berlin I was over the moon. First of all Berlin is my home town and I would be able to see my family and friends on a regular basis. Second of all Union Berlin is a very stable and well organized team with a lot of sponsors, so there would never be any financial problems like in my past clubs. And third of all Union Berlin was playing in the 2nd Bundesliga competing against teams like RedBull Leipzig, Kaiserslautern, Fortuna Duesseldorf,… so it would be a great chance to prove myself on a good level and be seen by top clubs from the 1st Bundesliga. So I signed a 2 years contract with 1.FC Union Berlin. I believe in Karma and always try to be nice and kind with humans and the nature, so I was thinking that all the bad things that happened in my past are over now and the good things are finally arriving in my life. But to be honest, what could possibly go any worse in my carrier? My last 3 clubs went basically all „broke“ so I thought that it cant get any worse anymore. But again, life proved me wrong. Without a doubt my time at 1.FC Union Berlin turned out the most stressful and hardest times of my life so far.

Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass…Its about learning to dance in the rain. 

Just about 3 weeks after I signed for Union Berlin, the coach who really wanted to sign me (Norbert Duewel) was sacked and a new Coach was appointed. That was already a bad beginning for me, as the new Coach didn’t knew me and has actually never seen me play. Since I was 17 I moved away from Germany and have been living and playing abroad ever since; so I was still very unknown in German football. That was also the reason that the new Coach preferred to select other players instead of me. Like I mentioned before: I had already over 14 coaches/managers changes in my career so I knew exactly what to do; the only thing left for me to do was to train, work hard and try to win the trust of the new coach. So I tried again to design an own training schedule for me. Usually we trained only once per day, but I always stayed behind on the pitch to do some extra work. Everybody was already gone and I just entered the dressing room to take a shower. After that I drove to the city to eat some lunch. When I was done eating I didn’t drove back home, but back to the empty training complex. I put on new training clothes and spend a couple of hours in the gym. It was already around 6-7 pm but I didn’t want to drive 35 km back to my apartment so I could be fresh for the training the next morning. So I stayed over and slept all by myself in the huge but empty training/stadium complex of Union Berlin. This training schedule I done every Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and sometimes Thursday.

Never stop doing your best just because someone doesn’t give you credit.

A couple of weeks passed and my relationship with the new head coach was getting more and more tensed. I am a honest, direct guy who treats everybody the same and with respect but I also want respect in return. So one day in October 2015 I had a small discussion with the head coach, but nothing serious. The next day the sport director of Union Berlin calls me into his office and tells me that I am „suspended“ from the team. I was not allowed to train with the team anymore, to enter the dressing room and to use the gym. I wasn’t even allowed to enter the Training complex of Union Berlin. I had to train individually with a fitness coach on some other training field. It turned out that I had to bring and wash my own training clothes and the training times were also ridiculous. The worst thing for a professional football player is: not being able or allowed to play games. Because you train and work so hard during the week and preseasons just for the moment when the competition begins. But my situation was even worse: I wasn’t even allowed to train; so that was making me crazy and it felt like a living hell. But my experiences in the past made me stronger and I could handle this situation much more comfortable now.

„So what? I’ve been here many times in my life in some form or another. I’ll eat it all and come back stronger.“ (Conor McGregor)

My „suspension“ lasted for about 3 months and it was really the hardest, most stressful and worst time of my life. I don’t want to write about this situation so much but it was impossible for me to continue like that and I had to do something; so I took a lawyer. Me and my lawyer Dirk Greiser went to court against Union Berlin to fight for my right to train with the team; and we won the case. So in January 2016 I was able again to train with the 1st team of Union Berlin. But of course the relationship between me and the club was on the edge, so we had to find a solution. In middle of January 2016 my contract with Union Berlin was „broken“ on mutual agreement. So my time at Union Berlin came to an end. Even though it was actually the worst, most stressful and hardest time of my life I have nothing bad to say about this great Club Union Berlin. They probably have the best fans of Germany, the coolest Stadium(in my opinion) and Berlin will always be my most favorite city. I regret nothing in my life and I am very thankful for all the memories. It didn’t turn out how I wished, but I guess that’s why life is so beautiful and will never get boring. You rise, you fall, you stand up and move on. You learn, you change and try again.

New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings. 

It was the middle of January 2016 and I was without a club. I didn’t know what will happen with me. I was suspended for over 3 months and obviously didn’t play any games so I knew it would be really difficult to find a new club. Furthermore it was the middle of the season and teams would not be so active on the transfer-market. There were actually thoughts in my head to find a „real“ job and work or to apply at an university again. Basically quitting on football. But in the middle of February I received a call from one of my best friends Aurelien Joachim, who was playing for White Star Brussels at that time. He told me that his present club is looking for a central defender like me and that he arranged everything already. He said that he convinced the Manager of White Star „John Bico“ that I am the right choice and would do a good job for the club. He also already booked a hotel for me. I couldn’t believe it and was so thankful to him. The following day I flew to Brussels. Only around 1 month ago I broke my contract with Union Berlin and was „unemployed“. I was afraid that my football career is finished and all my dreams and everything I worked so hard for is fading away. So here I was sitting in the office of John Bico, signing a new contract with White Star Brussels, together with Aurelien Joachim who was „representing“ me and acting as my „agent“. I will always be grateful to him and no money in the world could repay what he did for me. I am writing this blog article around 1 year after I came to Belgium and I was so happy to hear 3 weeks ago that his fiance Eefie is pregnant now. (its going to be a girl) In a couple of years I will be able to tell their daughter that her father Aurelien made a big impact on my life, believed in me when nobody else did and opened the door for me in Belgium football. Maybe one day he or me will move to another club abroad of Belgium and we wont see and speak that much to another anymore. But one thing is for sure: I will always be there for him and his family,no matter what.

There are 4 kinds of friendships:

There are friends like food: You need them every single day.

There are friends like medicine: You look for them, when you feel bad.

There are friends like diseases: They look for you.

And there are friends like air: You don’t see them, but they are always with you. 

Nothing EVER stays the same

One thing I knew already from the beginning: CSKA Sofia was in financial difficulties. However, I didn’t let it bother me too much and I took the risk. Everything went perfectly. At last I had “made” it; I played for a European top club and was even a starting 11 player. The first 6 games of the season I was in the starting 11 of which we won 5 and drew 1, so everything started perfectly and was just as I had imagined. After the 6^th game day, however, our captain Valio Iliev was fit again, as I he was a central defender. Our coach, Stoicho Mladenov, took me to his office and told me, “Denis, you play top, in all games you showed how good you are, but Valio is fit again and he is our captain. He is a living legend at CSKA Sofia and has to play. It’s his last season as a professional Football player and I want you to become the next big central defender for CSKA just like he was. You’ve already proved it to everyone. We have received a few offers from other clubs for you, but we want to keep you for the future. So I offer you a new improved 3-year contract and we all hope you will sign it.” Of course, I already knew that it won’t be easy for me to stay in the team when the club captain is back but I was very happy about the new contract offer. I said to him: „It is nice to hear that other clubs are interested in me, but I am very happy at CSKA. It seems that the club trusts me a lot and to hear that you consider me to be the next big defender makes me happy. I will sign the new contract and try to become a legend here.” I called my parents and told them proudly of my contract extension and of course they shared my joy. My career was going uphill! I found a new and better apartment and signed a 3 year lease with the owner of the apartment, bought a new car and was looking forward to a future in Sofia as a player of CSKA. As a child, I always dreamed of it and now I was living the dream. People recognised me on the streets and my dream of playing international football was within reach. I was sure soon I would play in the Champions League.

“Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.”

I enjoyed the time in Sofia. The 1^st half of the season was over and we were top of the league, 8 points clear to Ludogoretz Razgrad.  The owner of Ludogoretz is the one of the richest men in Bulgaria and has bought a top team together. The budget of this team is far above that of the other teams of the A group and is about 5 times higher than of CSKA Sofia. Ludogoretz had won the last 5 championships and even played in the group stage of the Champions League against Liverpool, Real Madrid and Basel. It was almost a miracle that we were 8 points ahead of them.

“Impossible odds set the stage for amazing miracles.”

The winter break was great; I visited my parents in Berlin and spend a few days in Scotland with my sister. I earned good money so I tried to enjoy my life, but also kept my feet on the ground. At the beginning of January, our preparations with CSKA began in Side (Turkey). The accommodation was great and also the surroundings were perfect, in order to be perfectly prepared for the 2^nd half of the season. We trained 3 times per day and were exactly 42 days in Side (Turkey). At the end of the training camp we all were top fit, played and won a lot of friendly games against top teams.

“Fail to prepare, prepare to fail.”

But in Side we realized that CSKA Sofia had big financial problems. After about 10 days in Side we came back to the hotel after training but all of our “room card keys” didn’t work. Of course, we were all a bit annoyed; we were tired from training and had to return to the reception to change our key cards. We arrived at the reception but they told us that they won’t change our cards because we all have to move out within 2 hours. It turned out that CSKA Sofia had not paid the bill for the hotel yet. As long as the cost of the amount of about 70 000€ would not be paid, we could not enter our rooms. We all were tired and still wet from training, but we had to sit and wait in the hotel lobby for more than 3 hours until our owner would transfer the money. Finally, a deposit was made and our CSKA boss promised that the entire amount would be settled at the end of the 42 days.

Finally, we were allowed to return to our rooms and could take a shower. My roommate, Jakub Divis, was sure that it was probably just a mistake in the system or the CSKA boss accidently forgot to pay the bill. But I was sure that the situation was much worse than he thought. My thoughts were confirmed as we started to get picked up by the worst minibuses to take us to the training fields. Previously, we were picked up by 5-star buses and now they were buses that looked like they were from the pre-war period. In addition we were not allowed to train on the two main fields and had to settle for the small youth fields. When on the 39th day we were even refused to enter the Hotel restaurant, I knew that this was the beginning of the end.

There is good times and there is bad times, but there is still time.

The 1^st game of after the winter break we lost against Lokomotiv Sofia 2-0, which was really a big disgrace for the CSKA. However, Ludogoretz Razgrad also lost their 1^st game, so our game was quickly forgotten and we were preparing for the next game. Surprisingly, we also lost the 2^nd and 3^rd game. In the first half of the season we were so strong and actually nearly won every game and now we lost 3 games in a row?! CSKA Sofia loses 3 games in a row?! I think this never happened before in the history of CSKA Sofia. So it was not a surprise that rumours of game manipulation appeared.

After this 3^rd defeat our own fans stormed into our dressing room and were about fight us all. But luckily, the leader of the fan group, which calls itself „Animals“, could calm his group members and each of the players had to ask the “Animals” for forgiveness for the last 3 lost games. I had never seen anything like this before. To “only” apologise would have understandable, but we all had to take off our CSKA jerseys and hand them over to the leader of the “Animals”. To be honest I was bit “shocked” and just repeated what the others were saying: „We are really sorry about how bad we were playing and we promise that it will never happen again.” At the end of this “meeting” the “Animals” left our dressing rooms screaming: „SAMO CSKA, SAMO CSKA, SAMO CSKA“.

Sometimes it is better to react with no reaction.

On the following day this big crisis of the CSKA was all over the newspapers and news. The reaction of this situation is comparable to if Bayern Munich would lose 10 times in a row. Everywhere on the CSKA base was a bad atmosphere and all of Bulgaria spoke only of the bad CSKA. So I learned through the newspaper that we also got a new owner. I never heard of him before but after his 1^st press conference I was very positively surprised by him. He promised us to pay the outstanding salaries and the bonuses, which were already 2 months late, (nothing new for me) before the next game. Of course, all the players were angry about the delay of the salaries. The team planed not to train or play games anymore until the salaries would be paid. Only one remained calm: Denis Prychynenko. My teammates wondered and asked me why I am so calm, so I told them about my experiences in Sevastopol.

Sometimes being silent is the best answer.

My experiences from the past influenced my behaviour in the present. My experience helped me in this situation. Many CSKA players were not used to such a situation and complain that they had to be paid soon otherwise they would start to get financial problems.  However, I was already in situations where I was owed more than 5 months‘ salary. So I behaved differently, I decreased my expenses and saved my money to be prepared for everything. In hindsight, you can always get something positive out of every situation. From each mistake you should take a lesson and make it different the next time and adapt to everything. My mistake in Sevastopol was a poor division of my finances; I did not repeat this mistake this time. From my time in Sevastopol I learned to deal with my money.

A mistake repeated more than once is a decision.

It was Friday, just before the 4^th game after the winter break and I was in the starting 11. Every player was sitting in the hotel lobby checking their bank accounts whether the new CSKA owner has kept his word and transferred the money. Of course he didn’t.  It was only Friday, so the owner still had another day to transfer the money; I heard my team members tell to each other. But I knew that there were no transactions on a Saturday. I remember being so angry at him that I couldn’t even concentrate on our game the next day. A man should always keep his words.

If you promise something, keep it… If you talk much, always back it up… Be a man of your words.

It was game day and as usual we had the team talk 3 hours before the game. Our head coach Stoicho Mladenov was standing in front of the group and I could see right away that something was wrong. He said: “As you can see, the people above me keep lying to us and being disrespectful towards us. I am leaving CSKA Sofia and will not be your Head Coach anymore. Thank you for everything and everybody who was always loyal towards me and the club. Good bye.” I was shocked by these words, as I really liked him as a coach and person and felt sorry for him. Well the 1^st game without Mladenov we drew 0-0 and I made a good game. The following day a new head coach was introduced who basically just sorted out all of your foreign players (and we were about 60% foreigners in the team) so of course we lost another 3 games in a row and he was fired.

Open your arms to change, but do not let go of your values.

It was April 2015 and we still hadn’t received our salaries for January 2015. It was clear that CSKA was in big troubles and the media even talked about bankruptcy. Through the newspapers, I also realized that CSKA Sofia didn’t receive the License of International football for the coming season. We dropped from 1^st place with 8 points ahead of Ludogorez to 4^th place and we knew that it would be difficult to reach on international spot but now it was sure that this didn’t matter anymore. For what are we playing now? Whether we win or lose it didn’t matter as we had no international license anyway. We kept losing and now the media even spoke of not receiving the Pro- License for the next season. This would mean that the big CSKA Sofia had to go down to amateur level in the 4th league. But no one believed this rumours as CSKA is one of the biggest clubs in east Europa and was never bankrupt before. Furthermore everybody knew that our fans would go mental if that would happen. And nobody would want the “Animals” to go mental. So I was sure that CSKA Sofia would never go bankrupt.

It was the last game of the season 2014/15 and I wasn’t able to play as I was suspended. (5 yellow cards) Just before the game our owner came into the dressing room and said: “Guys, don’t worry, we will receive the Pro-License. Furthermore I promise that your salaries were paid today and should be on your account on Monday. So good luck today and win the game.” Actually I believed everything he said because we had a lot of Icons of Jesus and Maria in our dressing room and I knew that the Bulgarians are very faithful. So I was sure that he wouldn’t lie in this room.

With these words the owner left the dressing room and we won that game with 3:0. It was like a small happy end to this season. We won the last game of the season and on Monday I would have more than 3 salaries on my account, which was a big amount for me. So I has in a good mood. I had a flight ticket to Berlin on Monday but I changed it to Tuesday as I wanted to check my account and take some money of it for my summer holiday.

It was Monday and I didn’t leave my apartment all day. I was too nervous and constantly checking my phone for the SMS confirmation that the money arrived on my account. I waited and waited but didn’t receive the SMS. Suddenly a teammate called and said: „Denis I just had the owner on the phone and he told me that there were some technical problems with the transfer and that the money will be on our accounts 100% tomorrow. This was a pity. Again I changed my flight to Wednesday which cost me another 50€. But also on Tuesday I didn’t received the SMS. I was watching TV and at around 3pm there was a special report on the news: „CSKA SOFIA BANKRUPT, NO PROFESSIONAL LICENSE RECEIVED.” I was so angry, I can’t even describe it.

Immediately I drove to IKEA, bought 4 big suitcases, drove back to my apartment and packed all of my clothes into the big cases. Then I called my team mate Jakub Divis who told me that he would leave Sofia tonight by car to his Hometown Praag and asked him: “Jakub, do you still have space for me and 4 suitcases?” He just laughed and said: “Of course, it’s a 14 hours’ drive so you can keep me awake.” Then I called the owner of my apartment and told him that I am leaving this place tonight for good and put the rent money for 2 more months on the table.” He was about to say something but I hanged up the phone already. Then I called a taxi and drove to Jakubs house. I arrived and all I said was: “Common man, let’s get out of this place.” This negative attitude towards my time in Bulgaria disappeared within a couple of days. I said to myself:

 Whether the situation is good or bad – it will change.

When I arrived in Berlin 2 days later I already missed Sofia a bit. When I think back to my time in Bulgaria I only get positive feelings. The negative moments I had I just converted to funny stories. I will never forget this beautiful country, the beautiful city Sofia, this fascinating Bulgarian culture, the new friends that I made the amazing CSKA Sofia fans and this legendary club CSKA Sofia. Many of my family and friends wonder why I always speak so good about my time in Sofia, because many unpleasant things happened there to me and the club still owns me a big amount of money. But I regret nothing. If I had the power to turn back the time, when I decided to sign for CSKA Sofia, I would do the exact same again. It was an amazing time and I am sure I will visit Bulgaria many more times. Furthermore I learned one big thing in Bulgaria; I have learned to forgive people who ever done any harm to me.

I have striven not to laugh at human actions, not to weep at them, nor to hate them, but to understand them.

So that was the end of my time at CSKA Sofia. Exactly 1 year ago I made my debut for one of the biggest clubs in east Europe, signed a new 3 year deal, was creating a big and promising career for myself and everything was just perfect. I had a life without worries and had daydreams about my future: Becoming a legend at CSKA Sofia, playing on international Level with them and receiving offers from other big clubs. And this future actually started to become realistic. Everything was going uphill but now I was at the bottom again. My 3 year contract meant nothing anymore. I was “unemployed” again. That’s how fast things can change; that’s how life can go. But I have learned a lot from it. In Sofia I met many people, good and bad, so the moral of this time in Sofia which I made for myself is:

Treat everyone good and with respect, even those who are rude to you. Not because they are decent people, but because you are a decent man.

A small storie:

One day a young man was walking down the street and saw an old man sitting on the edge of the street selling posters with quotes on it. The young man went to him and said: – “Old man, you seem very old and wise and have seen and experienced so many things in your life; tell me:  I am a young and strong man but nowhere I can find a job, I have a son who is a drug addict, I have a daughter who is a prostitute and my wife is an alcoholic and does nothing in and around our house. What should I do? How can I change things to be better? Give me an advice please”.

The old man handed him a poster with a quote on it and replied: –“Here young man, I give you this poster with the quote “Nothing EVER stays the same”. Hang this poster on your door.”

“And that’s it?”, asked the young man. “Yes”, said the old man.

The young man followed this advice. After some time his son quit drugs and became a priest; his daughter fell in love and married a nice man; his wife rehabilitated from her alcohol problem and became a good wife; he found a good paid job and was driving around in an expensive car.

One day, the young man passed the same street where he met the old man. The old man was still sitting there selling his posters. The young drove up to the old man and slightly opened his window, without leaving the car and said: – “Well, old man, you still sitting here? As you can see, I reached everything that I wanted. My son stopped using drugs and became a Priest. My daughter married a nice man and stared her own family. My wife quit drinking and became a good housewife. And I got a job and now I am the big boss of the company. But you are still sitting here selling your posters you worthless old man. And what do you advise me now?” The old man looked at him and said: – “Nothing EVER stays the same.”

Making right decisions

Now the time of the club search began again. But as I noted last year, it is a feasible undertaking. I discovered that there are several stages in the process of the club search. 1^st you think: Shit, again I am unemployed. What if I don’t find anything? How will my future look like?  After this very negative phase you eventually get to the point where you start to get new hope. Every small achievement (for example, the call of an agent) gets absorbed. Mentally this small phone call appears a stronger then it is. You begin to imagine positive outcomes and start to take more courage from it. All this positivity is only triggered by a small phone call from an agent who tells you that there might be something possible for me at a certain club. It follows the next stage, when your secret hope is turning into anticipation and excitement. You think: This club search is the start of something new; I’m looking forward to meet new people, to see and settle at a new city or country. These 3 stages I still remember and went through during the summer break before the season 2014/15.

Usually you will always get what you expect. So think positive.

I arrived back home in Berlin and found out that my 3-year contract with FK Sevastopol is worth nothing anymore, because the club no longer exists. FK Sevastopol went bankrupt and was liquidated. This negative message and the thought of the upcoming month made this moment even more unbearable. I decided to cancel my summer holiday and completely focus on the search of a new club. Also physically I didn’t rest and trained on the artificial grass pitch next to our apartment for more than 3 hours per day and additionally spend 5 times per week in the gym, to keep myself fit for trials with new clubs. I knew that if I have to go for a trial somewhere, most players will not be as fit as they would come straight from their summer vacations. To increase my chances I decided to keep a maximal level of my fitness so I would be a step ahead of most of the players.

The will to succeed means nothing without the WILL to prepare

I wrote to every agent I had in my contact list. The year before, I had contacted more than 100 agents, which made it a lot easier this year. In addition, new agents and clubs called me, as it was official that FK Sevastopol was liquidated and all the players were free agents. So I already was in a good starting position and a few teams were already expecting me for preseason. I had already some experience with this kind of situation because of my past, so I knew that it would be unwise to reject immediately, you should always keep your options open and always agree to trial training, it’s never too late to reject a contract at the end. The summer break was coming to an end and I already had a few concrete offers, which I only had to sign. But I wanted to wait a little longer. The phone rang and an agent from Iran was on the line saying that one of the biggest clubs there was looking for a player like me. They had been scouting me before and wanted me to fly to their preseason training camp in Istanbul; right away.

The club really wanted to sign me and offered me a salary of more than 300 000 Euro net per year. It was a 3 year contract with increasing salary every year. I asked the agent to give me maximum 1 day to think about this offer and I promised to call him back the following day. Of course I asked my mother for advice. My mother was very enthusiastic about this and recommended me to sign the contract, because on one hand I would make good money and on the other hand the experience to live in Iran would be invaluable. But my father disagreed. He was also very enthusiastic about the contract, but something else bothered him and he said to me, „Yeah, Denis, there you can earn a lot of money and certainly provide for your future, but when you come back to Europe in 3 years’ time it will be very difficult for you to find a new team. All the hours, days, and years of hard work that you have invested to become one of the best defenders in the world would have been for nothing but the money; if you go there, you only go for the salary and not for the love of the game. You are still very young (22) and can still achieve a lot. You can accept this offer when you are older.” I thought a lot about it and finally I decided to follow the advice of my mother. So I called the agent and told him that I will be ready to fly tomorrow. I started searching online for one way flight tickets to Istanbul. My mother was still thinking about all the pros and cons of this decision, but my father was still not convinced. Within a few minutes I had found the right ticket and was about to pay the ticket online.

Don’t let your dreams be controlled by these things: the past, other people and money.

But suddenly my phone rang and my old team captain of FK Sevastopol, Mariuz Lewandowski, was on the line. Mariuz is one of the best footballers in the history of Polish football. He played many years for Shakhtar Donetsk, won with Shakhtar the UEFA CUP in 2009 and ended his career at FK Sevastopol. He said to me, „Denis, I have good news for you. The club CSKA Sofia is looking for a young central defender. They are very interested in you and invite you to Sofia tomorrow. CSKA Sofia is one of the biggest clubs in Eastern Europe. They have played in the Champions League and are the record champions in Bulgaria. This year they are playing in the European league and are looking for a central defender like you. I put in a very good word about you and within a few minutes you will receive a call from a good friend of mine who is also the Club agent of CSKA Sofia, Alex Mladenov.” To be honest, I wasn’t that excited about this phone call in the 1^st minutes and I planned to reject this offer as soon as Mariuz has finished speaking. After all, I already made my mind up to move to Iran. Mariuz continued to explaining what a fantastic team CSKA Sofia is and slowly I started to realize what kind of possibilities and doors this club could open for me. If I would play 1 or 2 good seasons for CSKA Sofia, I could get a move to one of the big teams in European football.

I thanked Mariuz and I said that I would like to hear what the club agent of CSKA Sofia would say or and propose me. The conversation with Mariuz ended and the eyes of my father were gleaming. Full of enthusiasm, he said, „Denis, do you know how big the name CSKA Sofia is? If you sign there and will play regularly, you can go to any big team in Eastern Europe and your Iran or even the Emirates. Above all, you would play at an international level and could show yourself „. It began a long discussion of the pros and contras. The contract in Sofia was smaller than in Iran, but the opportunity to reach my biggest goals – to play in the Champions League and win it – made up for all possible disadvantages. I immediately called the agent from the Iran and cancelled his offer. The next morning I flew to Sofia.

If your dreams don’t scare you they are not big enough.

It was a Friday and the team was preparing for the qualification game of the Europa League on the following day at home against Zimbru. The team had already done a preseason of about 2 months and all players were top fit. On this day I trained individually with the Fitness coach, who made a few fitness tests with me. He was surprised how fit I was. The team had already finished their preseason and survived 2 training camps but I was just as fit as they were. I told the fitness coach that I had been training the whole summer break every day with my father to be prepared perfectly. So I had done everything right.

Winning is the science of being totally prepared.

The next day CSKA Sofia played against Zimbru in the Europa League qualification and was the absolute favourite to win the game. I had a VIP ticket for the game and was absolutely taken by the atmosphere. The fans of CSKA Sofia were simply amazing; such a good mood, singing, screaming and making choreographies. I took about 10 videos and am still totally fascinated by these fans and the love to their club.

Unfortunately, they only drew 1:1. On Monday, I had my 1^st training session with the team and I had a very good day. We done a short game and I made a great impression. Immediately after the training, the legendary coach Stoicho Mladenov called me to his office. The agent Alex (also the son of Stoicho) and the sports director were already present and offered me a contract, which I should sign immediately as they wanted to register me as soon as possible. I read everything carefully and on this day I signed a 1 year contract with CSKA Sofia. It was a great honor for me to be part of a club with such a great name and I thanked everyone. The following days and training sessions went super and throughout the week I was part of the starting 11. I thought the coach just wanted to get a better picture of me or just give me the opportunity to integrate myself into the team. The 1^st season match took place at the end of the week, away against Litex Lovech. I only trained 3 times with the team and didn’t even know the names of the players yet. But on the game day I found myself standing in the starting 11. Finally my time came again. I had a hard summer, no time for holiday, hours and hours of training, and fearful thoughts what my future will bring. But here I was again. Doing the thing I love the most.  My mother always says, „Do not fear changes, they usually come when you need them most.“

All I want is to play football. It is the love of my life and finally I was back playing on the field, for a top club and the future looked promising again. 4 weeks earlier, I was mentally knocked out and certainly it would have been much easier just to give up. I was plagued by thoughts like: Why do I keep doing all this? I train and work so hard, for what? If I had a normal job with regular income I wouldn’t have all this stress, the failures, the pressure, the frustration, all the setbacks, constant pain thinking about what I haven’t achieved yet. I could finally just take a holiday with my friends, enjoy the time when I am home and not move every year to another city trying to settle and fail again. But all these negative thoughts and memories are lost within 1 second; when I stand on the pitch and play football. Nothing else can calm my negative thoughts apart from football. Nothing else can let me forget the negative memories. The feeling when I am on the field and the referee whistle starts the game is just indescribable to me. I feel like: That’s where I belong, I need nothing else; I am home.

“Sir, what is your secret of success? “–a journalist asked to a successful Businessman.

“Making right decisions “– He replied in only 3 words.

“And how do you know what’s the right decisions? – asked the journalist

 “Experience” – The Businessman replied in 1 word.  

“And how do you get this experience?” – was the last question of the journalist.

“By making wrong decisions”

Feelings don’t die

The second half of the season 2013/14 at FK Sevastopol was certainly one of the most interesting a football player can imagine. Our winter pre-season was extended from 1 month to 3 months. My team and I were in Turkey at training camp while in Kiev (capital of Ukraine) it came to large demonstrations on the Maidan which resulted into a civil war. The Ukrainian Football Federation feared that some of the aggressive demonstrators would come to the Crimea and cause some trouble, so our 1^st game of 2014 against Tavria Simferopol was cancelled/ postponed. I was a little disappointed because my cousin played for Tavria Simferopol and I was already really up for the game. But safety comes first; we stayed 1 month longer in Turkey and wondered what is happening or will happen on “our” island Crimea. Just a few days after our return, the big moment came. It was the 16^th of March 2014; the day of the referendum and the fate of the Crimea should be decided. On this day all citizens of Crimea could give their vote whether they wanted to continue to belong to the Ukraine, or whether the Crimea should be part of Russia again. The results were in and how expected: over 90% voted to leave the Ukraine and be part of Russia again. It wasn’t a surprise as the Crimea used to be part of Russia before and the majority of the resident s of Crimea were still Russians. I am proud to say that I was part of this historical moment of the 16^th of March 2014. After the results were in and red out on the news the whole Crimea turned into a party-island; people took out their Russian flags and started to celebrate. Everyone was in high spirits; singing the Russian national anthem and were proud to belong to Russia from now on.

On this day I was sitting and chilling in my favourite Café named Schokoladniza and eating my dinner. Suddenly my cell phone rang and my mother was on the line; crying.

She was in panic and said: „Denis, how are you? Please fly back to Berlin today. In the German news they show Russian tanks, aircrafts and bombing on the Crimea. They say that Russia has attacked the Crimea with violence and it’s too dangerous there. Please fly home immediately.“

I was quite shocked by the words of my mother and tried to calm her immediately. I explained to her that I am sitting here in the centre of Sevastopol; everything is normal and the situation is completely relaxed. Here was not one tank, no single bomb, no aircraft and I didn’t even see a single Russian soldier to be honest.  Everybody is in party mood. Now you can see again how the media is influencing and manipulating people. Everything said on the News was complete nonsense.

Dont let your ears witness what your eyes didnt see.

I ended the phone call by saying, „Mama, be proud of me, I can witness “live” one of the most historical moments in the history of Crimea and one day I will tell my future children about it.“

The day after started a little weird. Usually our training starts at 11:00 so I got ready and left my house. Yesterday was such an interesting and great day, so I planned to arrive a little earlier at the training ground, because I was sure that there would be a lot to talk about with my teammates. That’s why I arrived 10:30 at the training ground. As I walked towards our changing rooms, I noticed that all the players were already on the field in the middle of the training session. Shocked, I ran to the team manager and asked what was wrong and why the training session had already begun so early. He explained to me that the Crimea belongs now to Russia, so that’s why the time was converted to Moscow time. At midnight, all the clocks were changed one hour and therefore it was already 11:30 when I arrived. But I was not the only one who had missed this important fact. We had a lot of foreigners in the team and all of us came too late. Fortunately we didn’t have to pay a fine.

But that was not all, the next surprise followed on my way home. After training, I called a taxi, and ordered to drive me to the center as I wanted to eat some lunch. The taxi came on time and we arrived in the center. I gave the driver the usual 20 hryvna. Instead of accepting it, he pointed to a sign inside the taxi: „Only rubles (Russian currency)“. Of course I didn’t have any rubles; luckily the driver made an exception and accepted my money. However, he advised me to go immediately to the Bank and change all my hryvna into rubles. Everything began to change. Within a short period of time the cars used Russian license plates and the residents applied for Russian citizenship.

A week later we had our 1^st game after the winter break in Dnepropetrovsk (in Ukraine). We couldn’t fly because the airports in Crimea were closed. So we went off with our team bus to the 15 hours distanced Dnepropetrovsk. The game was not so good and we were on our way home. On the border to the Crimea, which existed now, we were stopped and our passports were checked. For several hours we were stuck at the border. Then, the Russian border guards came to our bus and said, „The people Farley Rosa (Brazil) and Denis Prychynenko (German) have to get off the bus now! You can’t enter the Crimea „. Everybody was shocked, especially the two of us. Our team manager got out to explain to the soldiers that we are also players of FK Sevastopol and Sevastopol is our residence. We were explained that German and Brazilians need a visa now to enter the Crimea, since the Crimea is part of Russia now. Only by presenting our original working contracts with FK Sevastopol, they would let us enter the Crimea for the last time. As for the next time we had to make a visa. Of course we didn’t have our original contracts with us. The bus with all the other players was allowed to enter and drove off, while the 2 of us had to wait for another 10h at the border to the Crimea until the manager returns with our original contracts.  That was one of the longest and most stressful bus trips of my life.

Sometimes you will never know the true value of a moment until it becomes a story.

As the time progressed the Crimea became more and more “Russified”. For the Ukraine and the Ukrainian football that was of course a great loss, as 2 traditional clubs, Tavria Simferopol and FK Sevastopol were based on the Crimea. The Ukrainian media exaggerated immeasurably in describing the situation on the Crimea. So that’s why the Ukrainian teams were scared to come to the Crimea as they thought that it will „expose a danger“ to come here.  So Tavria Simferopol and FK Sevastopol had to play their “home” games in Kiev or other Ukrainian cities. Contrary to reports of the media, the life on the Crimea improved increasingly. I was glad especially for the part of my family, who lived in Crimea. Many people criticize Vladimir Putin, but my family and I are very grateful to him for the improvements he has made and is still making on the Crimea.

Unfortunately, the football situation on the Crimea went downhill. The club president, Novitskij, promised to pay our salaries, which we didn’t receive for the past 3 months. He promised that he will keep taking care of the club in the future. Novitskij is a Ukrainian from Kiev so obviously h wanted to keep his team in the Ukrainian Premier League. He said that there are already some options like: moving FK Sevastopol to Kiev and rename the club. But the club had no interest in this, as its home is on the Crimea.

Instead FK Sevastopol applied to be part of the Russian Premier League. To be allowed to play the upcoming season 2014/15 in the “Russian Premier League”, would have been the best output, which you can imagine.  However, in the Russian Premier League is a limited number for foreign players allowed, but in FK Sevastopol played not a single Russian.

The club chairman Krasilnikov called me to his office just before I planned to fly home to Berlin for my holidays. He told me: „Denis, don’t worry, we will go to the Russian Premier League and want you to keep you. You should be one of the few that remain in the team. You still have a 3-year contract, we simply take the contract over.“ With these words I went on my vacation. But I knew that still nothing was certain. What should I do, how should I decide? Search for a new club? Trust the Chairperson? All my questions were answered after a few weeks. FK Sevastopol was not accepted into the Russian Premier League. Again my life had “knocked me down “and my future was uncertain. I tried to calm myself:

Believe in God at every time, even when you don’t understand him.      

I strongly believe in God and I always try to be a good person, but in that kind of times I often ask to myself why does everything has to be so complicated. Why cannot I just make the thing that makes me happy the most; to play football, without stress and worry’s for a change.

If you ask someone, „What is the meaning of Happiness for you,“ you will find out what they miss the most.

In the last months of my time at FK Sevastopol I have experienced a lot of negative things, until now the clubs owns me 5 months’ of my salary and bonuses of a 5-figure sum. Nevertheless the good memories of my time there outweigh the bad memories. I improved myself football wise, became a better person, made many good friends and was able to live for 1 year on the most beautiful island in the world and the home of my family. In this year I’ve learned a lot for my future life and I thank everybody who has helped me and was part of it. The Football on the Crimea has made a complete restart, now there is a Crimean Championship with 10 teams. Hopefully the football there will keep improving and maybe they can play in the Russian Premier League one day. And if that will be the case, that Sevastopol will promote to the Russian Premier League, then I would be more than happy to be part of this club again. I said it about Heart of Midlothian and I will say the same about FK Sevastopol: I love you.

Feelings don’t die easily because we keep feeding them with memories.

You get what you give

After our winter preparation in Turkey, we came back to Sevastopol and I had no apartment. Since I wasn’t in Sevastopol for the past 3 months (1 month vacation in Berlin and after 2 months preparation in Turkey) I had cancelled my agreement with my old apartment. I decided to look for a new apartment together with my teammate. Together we were able to afford a large house just 10m from the Black Sea, just perfect! He was a new player in the team and his wife had stayed home in Lithuania; we got along just fine, which makes being flatmates much easier.

Approximately 30 meters away from our house was a small rubbish dump consisting of 3 huge bins for residual waste and 2 huge bins for paper waste. There was a homeless man looking after this “rubbish dumb” and also used the paper bins as his sleeping place; his name was Peter. The government paid him lousy 50 hryvna per month (back then that was around 7 €). There are many prejudices against the homeless people, not just in Russia and Ukraine. One of the most popular assumptions is that they drink a lot of alcohol and are very violent. But this homeless guy had never drank alcohol in his life and was always friendly. He was doing a great job and always held this rubbish dump clean.

Do not judge a man until you have walked a long distance in his shoes.

Every day I passed this place and saw this guy sweeping and sorting garbage. After 1 week, I decided to buy him a large Coke and a pizza. I brought it to him and so we started a conversation. It turned out that Peter used to be a solid man; he had lived together with his brother in the house of their dad, who had passed away unfortunately. The brother couldn’t cope with that and started to spend nearly every day in casinos to gamble. One day his gambling went too far and he had lost their house to some gambling friends and committed suicide shortly afterwards. So Peter lived from one salary to the next and couldn’t afford to rent an apartment. So there was no other choice than to move on the streets of Sevastopol. A short time after he had lost his job and moved to the small “rubbish dump” next to my house. It turned out that Peter had been living there for over 20 years now. He is sleeping in one of the bins for paper, since it’s a little warmer inside them.  Peter went through many negative  experiences in his life and always suffered setbacks, but he kept fighting constantly and made the best of his situation. One thing surprised me: Life had made it very difficult for him, he saw a lot of bad things and people always mistreated him, but never the less he was one of the most polite and respectful man I have ever met and he never done any harm to others and always wished the people walking by love and health. So I asked him one day what his secret to keep such a positive attitude is. He smiled and told me the following small story:

„A long time ago an old Indian told his grandson one life wisdom. In each of us is a battle going on, very similar to a fight between 2 wolves. One wolf represents the BAD – envy, jealousy, selfishness, greed, self-pity, arrogance and distrust. The other wolf represents GOOD – peace, love, hope, kindness, gratitude, friendliness, goodness and understanding. The little Indians thought for a moment and finally asked: “And which Wolf will win?” The old man smiled and replied: “It always wins the wolf you feed”.

So we became friends and I visited him every day and brought him some food. From time to time I also brought clothing (jackets, shoes) and hygiene products such as soap and towels.

But then the Crimean crisis broke out and the owner of FK Sevastopol stopped to pay any salaries to the players and stuff. Usually I transferred the main part of my salary straight to my German account and kept a certain amount in cash for my daily expenses for 1 month. But as we didn’t got paid the following month, my cash started to come to an and I went to the bank to withdraw money from my German account. But it turned out that due to the current crisis NO bank in Sevastopol was allowed to give out money so it wasn’t possible to withdraw money for anybody. That was a shock because I only had 40 hryvna (around 5 € at that time) left. The food in Ukraine was quite cheap and I had to be very careful with my last money, under these circumstances it’s possible to survive for two days.

I didn’t call my usual taxi driver, but instead I walked home from the training ground. On the way I bought myself my dinner for this night and in my wallet were 11 hryvna left. I don’t like borrowing money from others so I didn’t tell anyone of my grievance. Of course I passed my friend Peter; I had bought EVERY day something to eat and drink for him. Even when we had away games and my team and I would be gone for a couple days, I made sure and I buy enough food and drink for Peter when I’m absent. But on this day I hadn’t bought anything for him, because I had nothing for breakfast for myself for the following morning. When I came closer I saw him already sitting cosy on his stone and warming himself of the fire. Every step became harder and harder, because I knew that he is relying on me. Of course he wouldn’t be me mad, if I had nothing for him this night, but I just couldn’t make it up with myself. So I ran back to the grocery store and bought the usual Cola and Pizza of my remaining 11 hryvna. The funny thing was I knew exactly that I was “broke” at this moment and would have nothing to eat for the next morning, but nevertheless I was absolutely excited that I could make Peter happy. Having spent some time with Peter at his fire I went home, “broke” but with a smile on my face.

Give people more than they expect and do it with happiness.

The next day I woke up early because I had to walk to training and also I was very hungry.  When I arrived at the training ground the accountant manager greeted me joyfully and said: „Denis, come to the office, today everybody gets their salaries for the past 3 months.“ This 2 quotes reflect everything I just talked about:

 “The Secret of wealth: First start with giving, and after getting.”

And

 “Don’t walk through life just playing football. Don’t walk through life just being an athlete. Athletics will fade. Character and integrity and really making an impact on someone’s life, that’s the ultimate vision, that’s the ultimate goal – bottom line.” (Ray Lewis)

If you are going through hell, KEEP GOING.

My first day as an official player of FK Sevastopol went as usual. There was a press conference to introduce myself as a new player in the team and after I stared training with the team. But the coach who signed me and really wanted me as a player left FK Sevastopol just 2 weeks after I signed my contract. The new coach obviously didn’t know me, as I was a new player and had never played in the Ukrainian premier League before. So my start at Sevastopol was again a hard and tough challenge in my life. As I was new and young he didn’t put me in the team and preferred to play the more experienced players, so I had to work very hard to win his trust and prove my place in the team. But I trained hard and gave all my best every single day. A player who doesn’t play and sits often on the bench has no other choice than to keep working hard and use every day to improve yourself so one day you can convince the coach that you are ready and waiting for your moment. Of course you can also choose another way and change the clubs if you are really not feeling happy anymore.

If you are unhappy with the place and rang you are, change it. It’s easy – you’re not a tree!

But that was not the case with me. Although I didn’t play much, I felt very comfortable in the team and in Sevastopol. When I think back to my time in Sevastopol, only beautiful images come to my mind. It’s a fantastic city, with a stunning landscape; the mountains and the Black Sea to their feet. There I also met some friends for live, such as Bessart Ibraimi, who was sort of my mentor in Sevastopol. He lived there already 2 years, showed me many places and helped me with many things. Moreover he was also an impressive motivator. Whenever I didn’t play I was obviously a little depressed and made myself negative thoughts whether I would play at all, or when do I finally get my chance for the 1^st team, he said:

„Denis, wake up! You are not here…you are not living this moment right NOW… throw away your concerns…don’t think too much about the future. What will happen, will happen. You have to live NOW. Life is short, and therefore you should not waste time, you need to enjoy it. WAKE UP Denis! Some people can live a whole life time never being awake…don’t be one of them.

These words burned so deeply into my mind, that I’m still living that way today; more than 2 years after. Of course it’s hard at times to keep your mind always like that, but I try and one day, that’s for sure, it will be like clockwork.

I actually enjoyed my life. This also had a positive influence on my performance, I worked hard, gave 110 percent at every training session, even though I was not playing. Because of my work rate and fighting spirit I earned big respect within the team. Finally, the coach Orbu began to play me and I showed my qualities. My hard work had paid off and I played in the Ukrainian Premier League, which counts among the top 10 leagues in Europe. There was even first talks about a new contract for me. I was offered a new 3 year contract with higher wages and bonuses.

Everything had turned out great. But after a few weeks then another shock: Orbu got sacked. New manager at FK Sevastopol was now Konovalov. And everything started all over again for me.  Just a couple of weeks ago I was offered a very good 3 year contract with a big perspective for me and in the next moment everything has changed again.  I didn’t know if the new coach would like me as a player and would play me, but never the less the negotiations about my new contract were put on the back burner. But I kept my chin up, trained even harder so I could convince the new coach Konovalov that I am good enough to play. Finally get got trust in me and he put me back in the team and I played well. The negotiations about my new contract started to continue again and I was over the moon. Then the winter break began and I flew home to Berlin. A couple days later; I was enjoying my “small holiday” back at home, I find out (through the internet) that our coach Konovalov got also sacked. And again my way to the top was blocked. I was only 21, but I could very well handle these kinds of situations. The important thing is to think positive and to seek advice from the people who you love and who love you. Therefore I continued calling my parents regularly. Of course it’s always a struggle within yourself, with your head as a battlefield. You start to wonder why it always hits you.  You think you go through hell. But there are many people who are going through much worse things, some of them stop and give up. But I have a rule that says:

If you are going through hell, KEEP GOING.